When HBO’s Sex and the City first aired, back when I was VP of Romance and resident dating expert for Match.com, two dating cultural shifts quickly emerged.

Single men, generally from urban dating markets, began to complain to me that single women had become not only like men in their attitudes about sex and commitment, but actually worse than men.  Men who hoped to form a lasting relationship with one special woman felt that almost overnight single women became a lot less interested in commitment, as social license to play the field and focus their dating energy on having fun in the here and now had suddenly been granted. 

SATC didn’t reflect most single women’s dating lives as much as it influenced them.   For better or worse, women began to liken themselves to SATC characters in their online dating profiles, describing themselves as “Carrie Bradshaw like” seeking their own Mr. Big, or in a “Samantha Jones period” in their current approach to dating.  Even a very young Lindsay Lohan suggested that the Sex girls had influenced her to play the field and play around.

SATC, along with the introduction of dating reality shows like ABC’s The Bachelor, also began to socialize dating.  Suddenly everyone was talking about the dating choices  others make and learning vicariously through them.  Was it OK to break up via post-it note?  How young of a man can a somewhat older woman get away with dating?  Who was really right for someone and by what criteria?  We hired Alex Michel, ABC’s original Bachelor, and took these sometimes heated conversations about dating on the road.  It was an eye-opening experience, as dating choices became mainstream conversations in the workplace, among family and neighbors, at parties and at every event I attended with Alex.  We were all dating voyeurs.

The SATC phenomenon ultimately led me to leave Match and help launch Engage.  We built a social dating community at Engage where singles invite friends to help them make romantic connections through  suggestions, voting on possible dates, setting up introductions and post-date debriefings, much as the Sex girls have done over all these years.  Even if most of us can’t afford a pair of Manolos, all of us can benefit from the dating advice and insight of our best friends. 

Aly Walansky wrote more about my SATC experience in her SheKnows blog.   Vote on whether or not you think SATC had a negative influence on women’s lives over at PopSugar. 

See you at the Sex and the City movie! 

Trish McDermott - VP of Love, Engage  

April 10th was the night of our big debut at the “Geek Goes Chic” party we co-hosted with TechCrunch and PopSugar, at the Vanguard in Hollywood. But we weren’t just there to be social butterflies, dear readers!

We were on a mission to introduce the world to the new Engage. Plus, we hoped to help some genial geeks connect with the chic social mavens of their dreams. And vice-versa. (Turns out hotties dream about geeks as great relationship material. Our recent Romancing the Geek survey showed that 82% of women and 72% of men were into geeks — and would even choose silicon valley entrepreneurs over hollywood stars as potential mates!)

Whether you considered yourself a Geek, part of the Chic, or just aren’t into labels, there was something for everyone at this gathering. And Engage staffers were on the loose to Play Matchmaker™ with members of the crowd, bringing people together in the real world the way we do online. 

Here’s a clip of TechCrunch blogger Michael Arrington interviewing our very own VP of Love Trish McDermott and our CEO Suneet Wadhwa. Don’t they look glam in white?

You can also check out our flickr stream for photos from the event. See if you can spot the Engage staffers as they demo Engage and fix up people in the crowd.

April 10th is our big night out! We’ll be at the Vanguard in Hollywood for “Geek Goes Chic,” a party we’re throwing with the technology bloggers at TechCrunch and the celebrity gossip mavens at PopSugar.

We’ll be showing off the brand new Engage service that we unveiled this week. Have you tried it?

Plus, Alex Michel, the first bachelor from ABC’s “The Bachelor,” and our very own VP of Love, Trish McDermott, will be on hand to help connect the Geeks to the Chic at the event.

Our recent “Romancing the Geek” survey shows that Geeks might inherit the Earth after all, at least in the romantic department. Our survey showed that 82% of people are open to dating a “Geek”, and 72% said they’d be happier in a marriage with a famous Silicon Valley geek than a Hollywood celebrity. Great news for you smart and technology-savvy types!

We’ll share pictures and more party news soon!

Hugs and kisses,

Engage

Do you agree? Take our “Romancing the Geek” survey. Then read on…

Not a lot has changed in mate selection in the last forty thousand years. In the good old days of dating, accomplished hunters were hot prospects in the eyes of many a cave girl. Strength, speed and agility would have been attributes all Paleolithic women checked as desirable in a mate on their online dating profile. Those traits were necessary for Neanderthal bachelors to slay a mammoth or two and assure a future family’s survival.

While some dating desires have evolved over the years, women today are still attracted to hunter-providers. It’s in our DNA. Even as we’ve become fully capable of slaying our own modern-day mammoths, we continue to seek affluent, tall, well educated, and professionally successful romantic partners because they can bring home the goods we’re hard-wired to need for happily-ever-after.

Are geeks the new hunter heroes?

If forty really is the new thirty and pink is the new black, then geeks may be the new hot, hunky mammoth hunters of single women’s dreams. Geeks tend to be well educated, hard working, successful, and often are involved in startups that may provide a better world for all of us.

Who brought us the clean-tech movement? Scientist geeks. Who reconnected us to online communities that help us thrive? Internet geeks.

Geeks aren’t necessarily tall. Many hunch over a laptop all day or generally keep their head down to avoid eye contact. Maybe if we uncurled them we’d find that geeks are actually taller than their less tech-savvy counterparts — a pleasantly sexy surprise. But even slumped over, many geeks are hot dating prospects today.

Geek Goes Chic

Engage goes to Hollywood on April 10th for the TechCrunch and PopSugar “Geek Goes Chic” party. We’ll demo new site features and play matchmaker for TechCrunch geeks and PopSugar style mavens hoping to get their romantic groove on. Whether you’re a geek yourself, or might date a geek someday, please take the Engage “Romancing the Geek” survey. We want you to weigh in on how hot, hunky, and romantic geeks really are.

If you’re a geek hoping to meet the woman of your dreams with us in Hollywood, or out there in the big world of dating, check out this DailyIdea video for a few tips on meeting girls.

See you in Hollywood!

Trish McDermott
VP of Love, Engage

Since single women named Barack Obama as the presidential candidate they would most like to see naked , are they also more likely to find a man in an Obama t-shirt sexier than a man sporting Clinton or McCain across his chest? Probably. Check out this PopSugar photo of Ryan Phillippe stepping out for his candidate Obama yesterday in LA. PopSugar is right when they say of Ryan:

“…showing off he’s a voter is always sexy.”

The Engage “Love, Politics and Romance” survey found that 83 percent of single women and 78 percent of single men report they are more likely to fall in love with a registered voter, rather than someone who hasn’t registered.

Single men, not surprisingly, think Hillary Clinton is the sexiest of the three candidates. So when Fran Drescher, seen here at PerezHilton in her Clinton gear, steps out for her candidate, single men are likely to notice. We are attracted to people with strong opinions and the guts to be public about their political choices…even when their t-shirt choice isn’t entirely flattering.

Want to increase your romantic chances this election year? Get engaged in the political process and show off your Clinton, McCain or Obama gear.

Trish McDermott
VP of Love, Engage