You use Engage. You use Facebook. You’ve got friends on both. Now you can share Engage profiles on your Facebook profile, so you can Play Matchmaker^TM even when you’re away from Engage. It’s like those old Reese’s peanut butter cup ads: “You got your Engage in my Facebook!” Delicious!

Here’s how to do it:

1. Sign in to Engage.
2. Pick a friend on Engage that you want to fix up or connect with your Facebook friends.
3. On the friend’s Engage profile, in the “More” drop-down list, select “Share to Facebook.”
4. You’ll be taken to Facebook’s sign in page and asked to write a comment about the picture.
5. Repeat until all your single friends have met someone fun and new!

What’s The Point?
To get your social network to make new connections and fix up even more of your single friends. That’s what social dating is all about!

Hugs and kisses,
Engage

Fifty-seven men were arrested for dancing to pop music and flirting with women in front of a shopping mall in Saudi Arabia’s holy city of Mecca last Thursday, behavior that is apparently against Islamic law, as reported at msnbc.com. Meanwhile, presidential hopeful John McCain is in political recovery mode after the New York Times reported on speculation about a friendship with a female lobbyist that PresidentPicker blogger called:

…flirtatious but probably not scandalous.

Over in the United Kingdom The Telegraph, in a story titled, “How Facebook flirting could lead to divorce,” reported that:

Flirtatious emails and other saucy messages sent via the sites are expected to be used as evidence of “unreasonable behaviour”, legitimate grounds for divorce.

Career coach, Cynthia Shapiro, gives this warning on office trysts over at collegerecruiter.com:

No Flirting. Dating a fellow employee is your private business and should not be obvious. Please resist the temptation to send ooglie, smoochy emails…

What’s wrong with ooglie, smoochy emails? Aren’t they one of the things–along with breathy, seductive voicemails, warm, fuzzy text messages and deliriously giddy Facebook references–that great romances are made of today?

While doing research for the Engage 2008 State of the Date report we learned that only 38 percent of singles reported using flirting last year as a way to advance their romantic objectives. Apparently 2007 was not a very ooglie, smoochy year. Five percent of singles said lack of flirting was their biggest complaint about the people they dated in 2007.

Fear of flirting is thwarting our national romantic progress. While 57 men sit in a cell in Saudi Arabia, accused of having a little fun expressing their romantic attraction, singles in the United States are prisoners in a social cell of their own making, afraid to break out, take a romantic risk, tease someone, smile, banter a bit or make just enough eye contact to say “Hey, I’m interested.”

Not all flirting is good flirting, as John McCain is probably now realizing. Lobbyists and divorce proceedings aside, it is still good to flirt. Good for you and your love life, and good for the world, which can always use a little more love and affection.

Winks for everyone.

Trish McDermott
VP of Love, Engage

Since single women named Barack Obama as the presidential candidate they would most like to see naked , are they also more likely to find a man in an Obama t-shirt sexier than a man sporting Clinton or McCain across his chest? Probably. Check out this PopSugar photo of Ryan Phillippe stepping out for his candidate Obama yesterday in LA. PopSugar is right when they say of Ryan:

“…showing off he’s a voter is always sexy.”

The Engage “Love, Politics and Romance” survey found that 83 percent of single women and 78 percent of single men report they are more likely to fall in love with a registered voter, rather than someone who hasn’t registered.

Single men, not surprisingly, think Hillary Clinton is the sexiest of the three candidates. So when Fran Drescher, seen here at PerezHilton in her Clinton gear, steps out for her candidate, single men are likely to notice. We are attracted to people with strong opinions and the guts to be public about their political choices…even when their t-shirt choice isn’t entirely flattering.

Want to increase your romantic chances this election year? Get engaged in the political process and show off your Clinton, McCain or Obama gear.

Trish McDermott
VP of Love, Engage

Valentine’s week is always a lot of fun, and occasionally full of surprises, when you work for a social dating site. Here’s a recap of the last few days at Engage.

We Rode the Love Train

I suppose we could have been in the office working on Valentine’s morning, but where is the love in that? Instead, we took a team of Engage staff and friends, grabbed a musician armed with a few hundred love songs and headed down to the Montgomery BART station to romance some unsuspecting commuters.

We gave away just under 3,000 roses in 90 minutes and shared a little love with a lot of San Franciscans. One of them was the rather handsome Michael Singer, from InformationWeek, who was apparently feeling so much love for us that he went right to the office and posted about his Engage Love Train encounter. Of course, not everyone was feeling all warm and fuzzy about the love train, especially not Andy Wright in his post at SFWeekly.com going to throw a lot of love his way this year, and we’ll see if he comes around for next February 14th.

Just about everyone in the BART station was smiling, and a few commuters were even singing along to their favorite love song. Watch the CBS news video and feel the love for yourself.

Engage Research Made the News

Valentine’s week is always a busy press time around here. Jen Saranow at the Wall Street Journal worked with us for her “The Cut-and-Paste Personality,” piece about singles plagiarizing each other’s dating profiles. Jennifer says that a recent search at that other dating site that I helped start and run for ten years:

…brought up more than 90 profiles with such lines as: “I want an opposite. A yin to my yang,” or “You know that woman who is the first person on the dance floor at every party? That’s me.” They weren’t even from real people. They were cribbed from sample profiles posted online at E-Cyrano.com (www.e-cyrano.com) by dating coach and profile writer Evan Marc Katz. “It just seems so short-sighted,” says Mr. Katz, of Los Angeles. “Everybody steals the same lines so they are not original anymore.”

Jennifer included this Engage research in her piece:

In a recent survey of more than 400 online daters commissioned by Engage.com, 9% of respondents said they copied from another person’s profile; 15% suspect their own words were stolen.

Isn’t stealing someone else’s profile text scraping the bottom of the barrel for insight into who we are, why someone might be attracted to us, and what we’re looking for in a partner? Apparently not everyone thinks so. Meanwhile, over at the Chicago Tribune, technology writer Wailin Wong looked at the growing confusion regarding how we should use technology and social networks in our romantic lives:

In simpler times, a high school ring was all it took to signal the start of a relationship. And when the breakup came, who would know or care if one tucked away a few mementos?

All that has changed in the digital era, in which millions of people chronicle the real-time, intimate details of their lives on social networking Web sites like Facebook.com. Dating may be no more or less complex than ever, but because gossip about who’s got a new boyfriend or girlfriend — and who just lost one — now travels instantaneously to a large network of contacts, a new relationship minefield has emerged.

Wailin used some new Engage research in her story “What’s Your Status? Relationships Revealed Online.”

McDermott’s advice is to remember that relationships involve people, not machines. Strange as that sounds, Engage.com conducted a survey of more than 600 single adults in the U.S. and found 21 percent said it was OK to say “I love you” for the first time in an e-mail or text message. Only 12 percent said it was acceptable to break up electronically.

Valentine’s Surprises

Over at About.com’s Weird News Buck Wolf reported that:

In Kansas, a woman carrying flowers and a box of candy walked into a bank and told the teller that the box contained a bomb. She demanded an undisclosed sum, and after she left, x-rays shows the chocolates contained nothing more dangerous than nougat.

Buck also mentioned that 8 million Americans probably sent themselves Valentine’s presents this year. If we had known, we would have given them a rose!

Hugs, kisses and warm romantic wishes this love week from all of us…
Trish McDermott
VP of Love, Engage

It’s that time of year where you can’t go anywhere without hearing the V word. (No, not “vajayjay,” silly… though we’re hearing that everywhere too.) We meant Valentine’s. For some, that word cues a symphony. For others, it cues the screeching violins from “Psycho”.

Don’t get us wrong, we love little candy hearts as much as the next gal or guy! But sometimes it feels like we all have to participate in Valentine’s Day’s chocoholic excesses. Whether you’re between relationships, dating someone new, or with a longtime companion, all the hearts and arrows and romantic formulas can get a little stale, right? Romance is so much more, well… romantic when it’s not calendared in.

Why not take a more social approach to V-Day? Here’s one recipe for a St. V’s without the Hallmark holiday hangover:

• Host a party where you and your friends can get gorgeous and mingle – without paying for a prix fixe menu or being sardined into banquette seating with three gazillion other couples.
• Invite everyone you know – involved or not.
• Ask everyone to make up a signature cocktail and bring the ingredients to your place.
• Tell your involved friends to bring a single friend or two along with them.
• While you’re mixing cocktails, see how your single friends blend!

Will love be served up, shaken not stirred? You’ll have to wait and see. At least you and your best friends can have a gala evening together, whether or not Cupid decides to strike. And If you’re between sweeties, your best friends are the best people to be with!

Gee… someone should throw a fun party like that online. Oh wait, we did.

Hugs and kisses,

Engage

p.s. Be sure to tell us about your party. Post a comment to this blog entry and let us know how your soirée turns out!

Of all the current presidential candidates, single women would most like to see Barack Obama naked, followed by John Edwards as their second choice, according to a January 2008 Engage survey of more than 900 single adults.

After recently meeting the candidate at a Women for Obama event—if elbowing my way to the front of a line to shake his hand, glance into his inviting eyes and snap a photo to forever memorialize the two-second event (only later to learn I had cut off his head) actually qualifies as meeting—he has my vote too, at least in the naked department. Obama is cute, charismatic and strikes me as a candidate relatively comfortable with naked truths—even his own. Not to mention he has a confident, warm, and not at all sweaty handshake.

Barack Obama seems comfortable with naked truths.

According to the survey, single women believe John Edwards is the sexiest candidate by two percentage points above Obama, with Mitt Romney taking the bronze. Single women elected Obama as the best kisser of the candidates, in a tight race with Edwards as his runner up, and with Guiliani coming in a distant third. Among single women, no Republican candidate finished first or second when asked about their sexiness, perceived kissing prowess, or one’s desire to see them naked. How will this play out in the coming primaries and the general election later this year?

John Edwards - Candidate McDreamy?

The McDreamy Presidential Election Factor?
Forty-two percent of single women surveyed said that a candidate’s physical appearance influences their voting decision. Women were more likely to be influenced by the presidential attraction factor than were men. Melinda Henneberger, who spent eighteen months interviewing women about their voting choices:

“…began to wonder if picking a candidate wasn’t a little like dating, with chemistry and timing regularly trumping reason and common vision.”

We don’t have to agree with everything our significant other believes, in order to have a passionate, meaningful and happy relationship. Sometimes even opposites make for a great marriage. Regardless of how our beliefs align with our partners’, it certainly helps if we think they are sexy, like the way they kiss and enjoy seeing them naked. Is this true also for our president? According to Henneberger:

“Many women said they are looking for someone they can trust, even more than someone they agree with in all the particulars.”

Whether single women intend to vote for the candidate who looks best naked, or the candidate they trust will have the best plan to address issues they say are most important to them—the war in Iraq, the economy and healthcare—Engage is encouraging all single women, and their male counterparts, to vote and make themselves heard in 2008. “Every Single Vote,” a 10-month campaign to get out the single vote for this year’s presidential election, kicked off this week. The campaign will continue to survey singles on election issues, provide voter registration resources to Engage members, and encourage all singles to let their political voices be heard. Wondering if it’s OK to discuss politics on a first date? Or whether Democrats or Republicans make better lovers? Take the Engage “Every Single Vote – 2” survey this week, and let the last word be yours.

Me? I’m off to dream about sexy candidates, and ponder the war in Iraq, as I cast my absentee ballot.

Trish McDermott
VP of Love, Engage.com

I caught Carson Kressley on the first episode of Lifetime TV’s “How to Look Good Naked” last week, a day after I spent $385 at Nordstrom’s buying lingerie that will never leave my panty drawer, unless we have another power outage. Like most women, I have my lingerie issues. Unlike most women, lingerie was actually underneath my career success.

Most of what I eventually learned about dating and romance was first inspired during my time running the returns department for the Victoria Secret catalog, in the days before it was acquired by The Limited. Women commonly returned lingerie with personal notes to “Victoria,” confiding intimate, and sometimes demoralizing details of their faltering marriages and the role they had hoped a baby doll, or cami set, might have played in bringing back their man.

“Victoria” was actually me, Trish McDermott, an early-twenties student and political activist who took the Victoria’s Secret job because her boss promised her time off to get arrested at political demonstrations, thereby somehow bettering, or possibly even saving, the world. I had a plan for saving the world, but was clueless about saving a marriage, especially one that was impervious to something soft and silky. Not all lingerie returns had happy endings.

I learned one very important lesson at the panty factory: It’s your choice of partner, and not your choice of panty, that ultimately makes your marriage work.

Carson Kressley was on again last night, with another less-than-perfect-in-panties woman in need of his “perception revolution,” which includes projecting a four-story-tall image of her, clad only in a bra and underwear, on a building somewhere in downtown Santa Monica. I’m an ardent supporter of any revolution that takes place in our underwear, partly because as a peace activist, I’m reassured by the fact that it’s hard to carry concealed weapons in our panty bands.

Of course, not everyone wants to participate in Carson’s revolution. The National Action Against Obesity chose to keep all of us less- than-perfect women in our perceived place with a press release attacking “How to Look Good Naked” (Credit and thanks to Chubby Mommy, where I first found this release discussed). The release included this comment:

“When we observe obesity, we’re seeing the effects of self-abuse. To end self-loathing, one must stop self-induced abuse. It’s a change in behavior, not a change in word choice — like calling the evidence of abuse beautiful. It’s no more logical to compliment the aesthetics of obesity than the beauty of cigarette-stained teeth or track marks on a junkie’s arm,” said NAAO President MeMe Roth.

What riles them up is that “How to Look Good Naked” isn’t telling women to lose fifty pounds and get a personal trainer before they get naked, given what they call the “dangerous denial of compromised health due to obesity”. Instead, Carson wants women to shed all of our layers—clothing, of course, but also shame, guilt and the constant comparison we make between our bodies and those of fashion models, or women twenty years younger than ourselves—to see that we are each beautiful in many ways, and certainly deserving of love and happiness, even with cottage cheese thighs.

Sometimes single people see themselves as a sum of their flaws. Perhaps they are overweight, or bald, or underemployed, or too tall, or too short, or too much of, or not enough of something they think they must be in order to be loved. It isn’t true. What is true is what I heard Carson say to this week’s guest: “There’s so much good here that we can work with.”

Here’s to seeing you all naked – at least metaphorically.
Me? I’m off to purchase a light dimmer.

Trish

Participating in life makes you a lot sexier than sitting on the sidelines. I’m attracted to people who are empowered and believe in their own ability to influence change and make things happen. Aren’t you? Did you know you’re four times more likely to attract a potential romantic partner simply by registering to vote? This is based on today’s running tally of Engage’s “Love, Romance, and Politics” survey.

We’ll keep the survey open and see what happens, so please take a few minutes to weigh in with your own thoughts. With a little over 600 responses so far, here are some early survey findings:

Sexiest Candidate: Single Democrats see Hillary Rodham Clinton as the sexiest candidate, followed by John Edwards. Single Republicans give Mitt Romney the Mr. Sexy title, followed by Clinton (more men than women have taken the survey so far, which may explain this Republican defection to Clinton…or maybe her recent tears made her more vulnerable and appealing, and Republican men just can’t help themselves). Single Independents chose Clinton as sexiest, followed by Edwards, and Single Libertarians and Greens both find Clinton the sexiest, with Obama running second.

Party Attraction Factor: Single Democrats are most attracted to a sexy and honest potential romantic partner, while Single Republicans are most attracted to a single person who is honest and smart. Will these dating selection biases influence their presidential choices? Single Libertarians like their romantic partners smart and good looking, and Single Greens prefer honest and sexy partners.

Single Republicans are more likely than single Democrats to say they would cross party lines to date. Of course, as James Carville once told me during the 2004 campaign when I announced a survey with similar results, maybe this is because single Democrats don’t like the dating prospects on the Republican side. Leaving political affiliation aside, men think Clinton will be the best kisser of the candidates, while women, ever hopeful, seem to prefer Obama for a snog.

While most of the survey is just for fun, and I’ll share more with you soon, we’re serious about getting out the single vote.

Only 43% of single men voted in 2004, while 52% of single women did so, according to Margie Omero. Both groups were out-voted by their married counterparts. Single women, who traditionally vote Democratic, have been annoyingly dubbed the “Single Anxious Woman” voting block, so pundits and pollsters can speak about the influence, apparently perceived to be significant, they may wield in the upcoming presidential election. If they vote, that is.

“Want a sure-fire way to keep women away from the polls? How about calling large groups of them ’single and anxious?’” writes Huffington Post blogger Morra Aarons-Mele.

According to the Engage survey, if the presidential election was held today:

40% of single Democrats would vote for Clinton, 25% for Obama, and 18% for John Edwards. With single Republicans, Huckabee, Guliani, and McCain are in a three-way tie for first place, each getting just over 19% of the vote.

However you plan to vote, your single voice must be heard. It’s good for your love life, and it’s good for our American way of life. Here are three ways you can easily get Engaged in the presidential election:

1. Register to vote. Check out Project Vote Smart to learn how voter registration works in your state.

2. Take Engage’s “Love, Politics, and Romance” survey:

3. Volunteer to work for the sexy, or not so sexy, candidate of your choice:

Hillary Rodham Clinton

John Edwards

Rudy Giuliani

Mike Huckabee

Dennis Kucinich

John McCain

Barack Obama

Ron Paul

Mitt Romney

Fred Thompson

Peace, love, and good politics.

Trish McDermott

VP of Love, Engage.com

As the CEO of Engage, I’m honored to write the first Engage blog post. Our company is excited to be able to communicate with you this way – and we’re looking forward to watching the blog become a fun part of your experience on our site. This first post is extra special for me because of the topic: My recent wedding in Goa, India. It was an amazing event for my wife and I, and I wanted to share it with you.

And now… welcome to my wedding!
My wife Amrita and I met the same way most people meet: through a friend’s introduction. This happened just before I co-founded Engage, so I started the world’s first social dating site at the same time that I was falling in love. Engage has evolved at the same time as my relationship — and just two weeks ago, Amrita and I were married.

Our wedding took place over three days in December, in Goa, India — and wow, what a wedding it was! It’s difficult to describe an event that you’re at the center of, but I can only say it was magical. We were surrounded by nearly all of our family and friends, many of whom had come from great distances. And we were in one of the most exotic places in the world, warmed by the waters of the Arabian Sea. The combination was electric.

I kept a journal of the wedding events and thought you’d like to see a bit of our amazing adventure:

Getting there was hard.
The journey started out with a rock-solid swindle. You see, Scotch is big in India and I needed a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue Label. So I waited until I was in SFO, duty-free. The sales rep in the store convinced me that the price, a “meager” $136/bottle (!), was on par with all duty-free shops worldwide. (He claimed that the dollar’s nosedive would, if anything, drive up pricing elsewhere in the world.) So, I bought that bottle and lugged it halfway across the world. After a grueling 14+ hour trip to Taipei, my first stop from SFO to Goa, I went straight to the duty-free shop to check prices. Bleary-eyed and jet-lagged at 2 a.m., I broke out my phone calculator and discovered that the sales rep had a unique interpretation of the global economy: Here was the same bottle for 40% less! I then had a multi-hour layover, seven hour flight to Mumbai, and 45 minute flight to Goa – all-in-all about 12 hours, 53 minutes, and 14 seconds to mull over the strength/weakness of the dollar. But at least I had the Blue Label.

The world changed.
Once in Goa, I checked into the Taj Hotel. Suddenly, I was in a different world. The Taj is designed like an authentic Goan village, complete with Portuguese-Goan terracotta-roofed cottages lining Sinquerim Beach in North Goa. After a nap and some lunch, I headed out to the bar to meet up with friends who had already arrived. On the menu? Champagne and scotch. (Yes, in that order). Just a taste or two before I met up with the TV crew…

Chilling at the Taj upon arrival

The 3 Events
Night One: The Sangeet. A festivity of song and dance to celebrate the engagement and upcoming marriage. Theme: Shades of White
Okay, so at this point I should probably mention the TV show. Our traditional Indian wedding was made a little extra special thanks to my sister-in-law, Avantika. She not only organized every detail of the event but she also convinced Indian media company NDTV to cover our nuptials for a TV show called “My Big Fat Indian Wedding.” So I had all the usual pre-wedding jitters on camera! With Avantika organizing, many of the events and settings to come were a surprise for me and Amrita… starting with the Sangeet.

I didn’t know what to expect at the Sangeet that night. When the evening rolled around, I was running late. Most of the guests had already left for the party via buses. A special air-conditioned car had been organized for me and my family. That would’ve been great but I couldn’t locate my family! I ended up piling into a car with my Mom, my future mother-in-law, and her brother in-law (it was a serious conversation). We sped off into the dark on a long, bumpy dirt road that led straight into the jungle. Now I was worried.

When I arrived, I was blown away. This was my first impression…

Followed by my 2nd impression: Diego (from San Francisco) flirting with my new cousin Mallika (a Bollywood actress).

The bartenders were putting on one heck of a show.

Karen (Engage’s other co-founder) and her husband Scott enjoyed the view.

I don’t think the slide show in the background got much attention!

The paparazzi snapped…

White was everywhere.

And I finally had a first dance with my wife-to-be.

Night Two: The Mehendi. The application of Mehendi (henna) designs to the hands and feet.
This is a really beautiful Indian tradition. The deep color of mehendi signifies the prosperity that the bride will bring to her new family. Color theme: Palettes of yellow-orange.

So after the spectacular Sangeet, I didn’t know what to expect for the second night of celebration. What could top it? I showed up to what looked like a mini amphitheatre shrouded in sunshine yellow colors, except it didn’t have the concrete feel of an amphitheatre but rather of a fine restaurant with no roof (perfect for the 85 degree temperature). It was really quite incredible – I’ve never seen anything like it anywhere. The food and drinks matched the exotic décor. Of all the wedding events, this was the most casual night and nearly all the women (and many of the men) had mehendi (you might know it as henna tattoos) applied in some creative ways.

“I Would Dye4U!” Amrita gets the mehendi applied to her hands.

Followed by a lift in the middle of the dance floor.

Avantika and Ananya distribute bangles for the ladies.

And to top it off, my Harvard B-School friends put on a last-minute skit.

Night Three: The Wedding and Reception. (Theme: Formal, traditional colors.)
The wedding ceremony is conducted in Sanskrit; the fire-deity (or the sacred fire) serves as the primary witness, while the bride and groom encircle it seven times together.

Okay. The big day is here and I’m worried about the heat. It’s December 20^th. It’s 88 degrees out. The snowman is made out of sand. And there are Christmas trees and wreathes everywhere but somehow it’s hard to believe Christmas is just a few days away.

This is the day we’ve waited for. There are multiple ceremonies to get through before the actual wedding and reception… and the story’s best told with pictures. Here we go…

Wedding day afternoon – Amrita takes part in a ceremony for the bride, her friends, and her family.

My picture-perfect bride does a photo shoot on the hotel grounds.

Amrita’s family escorts her to the meeting point between her family and mine, at the entrance.

Meanwhile, I’m on my way to the venue… (That’s me in the middle of the back seat)… with a little dancing in the street.

I arrive at the destination surrounded by my family and friends.

A big moment: The families meet.

As the sun sets, we’re minutes from being married.

One of the many photos just after the ceremony.

The reception area is about to get packed.

Amrita dancing at the reception.

A final pose for photos before the night is over.

Thanks for joining Amrita and I on our journey! I’d like to wish each of you, in turn, an amazing year and lots of fun and success on Engage. Please share your stories with us along the way.

Best wishes,
Suneet Wadhwa
Engage CEO

P.S. Be on the lookout for great new things happening here at Engage! While I’m bursting at the seams to share the latest news about our service, I have to hold my tongue until our marketing guy says it’s okay to talk. Bookmark our blog to stay in touch: blog.engage.com.