The Sex and the City movie is coming out soon. And that made us curious. How has Sex and the City changed dating and socializing? Tell us what you think.

When HBO’s Sex and the City first aired, back when I was VP of Romance and resident dating expert for Match.com, two dating cultural shifts quickly emerged.

Single men, generally from urban dating markets, began to complain to me that single women had become not only like men in their attitudes about sex and commitment, but actually worse than men.  Men who hoped to form a lasting relationship with one special woman felt that almost overnight single women became a lot less interested in commitment, as social license to play the field and focus their dating energy on having fun in the here and now had suddenly been granted. 

SATC didn’t reflect most single women’s dating lives as much as it influenced them.   For better or worse, women began to liken themselves to SATC characters in their online dating profiles, describing themselves as “Carrie Bradshaw like” seeking their own Mr. Big, or in a “Samantha Jones period” in their current approach to dating.  Even a very young Lindsay Lohan suggested that the Sex girls had influenced her to play the field and play around.

SATC, along with the introduction of dating reality shows like ABC’s The Bachelor, also began to socialize dating.  Suddenly everyone was talking about the dating choices  others make and learning vicariously through them.  Was it OK to break up via post-it note?  How young of a man can a somewhat older woman get away with dating?  Who was really right for someone and by what criteria?  We hired Alex Michel, ABC’s original Bachelor, and took these sometimes heated conversations about dating on the road.  It was an eye-opening experience, as dating choices became mainstream conversations in the workplace, among family and neighbors, at parties and at every event I attended with Alex.  We were all dating voyeurs.

The SATC phenomenon ultimately led me to leave Match and help launch Engage.  We built a social dating community at Engage where singles invite friends to help them make romantic connections through  suggestions, voting on possible dates, setting up introductions and post-date debriefings, much as the Sex girls have done over all these years.  Even if most of us can’t afford a pair of Manolos, all of us can benefit from the dating advice and insight of our best friends. 

Aly Walansky wrote more about my SATC experience in her SheKnows blog.   Vote on whether or not you think SATC had a negative influence on women’s lives over at PopSugar. 

See you at the Sex and the City movie! 

Trish McDermott - VP of Love, Engage  

For inside news and thoughtful commentary about the online dating industry, we love to read the Online Dating Insider. That’s why we were excited to sit down for a Cupidcast interview as part of Online Dating Insider’s weekly podcast.

Have a listen to Suneet Wadhwa, CEO and co-founder of Engage, and Trish McDermott, our VP of Love, as they discuss social dating and Engage’s way of bringing singles together through their social connections.

Thanks to everyone who came out on Monday night to Harlot in San Francisco for our Love 2.0 kickoff for Web 2.0 week. Turnout for the event was astounding. Close to 500 people joined us to get social, talk technology, and mingle with elligible singles and their attached matchmaking friends.

Update: Check out bub.blicio.us for great coverage of the soiree — including photos of many of the lovely single people (and their involved friends!) who turned out to make it such a fun night.

Also: See our flickr stream for more pics.

Engage has been busy this week with the exciting Web 2.0 conference in SF! After a fantastic turnout on Monday night for Love 2.0, we were out last night sharing T-shirt love to all the conference attendees hopping in the South Park Crawl. We handed out Engage t-shirts to folks as they were hopping in between ZoomProspector @ Gallery 16, IBM @ Jack Falstaff, Leverage Software, Federated Media Publishing @ Nova, Yahoo! Brickhouse, Adaptive Path, ESVCA @ Andrea Schwartz Gallery. We had a blast connecting with everyone and the shirts seemed to be a hit. Not one left!

What are you up to Monday night? Meet up with Engage!

Love 2.0 - Socializing the Dating Experience at Web 2.0 Expo 2008

Who: Fabulous Singles and Their Friends Who Love Them

What: A Monday night kick-off event and videos throughout the week at Web2.0 Expo 2008

Where: Harlot, 46 Minna St., San Francisco, http://www.harlotsf.com/

When:  Starts at Harlot on Monday night, April 21^st at 8 pm

When: That’s Monday - yeah - in like 3 days.  If you’re single, involved but love your single friends, or interested in meeting the coolest people in tech, you’ll make the time!

Why: Because we believe in Love and Technology!

PLUS - Don’t miss The TechSet interviews of the best and brightest SINGLES in social media sponsored by Engage throughout week during Web2.0 Expo - including Pete Cashmore, Stephanie Agresta, Tara Hunt, Willo O’Brien, Audbrey Sabala

April 10th was the night of our big debut at the “Geek Goes Chic” party we co-hosted with TechCrunch and PopSugar, at the Vanguard in Hollywood. But we weren’t just there to be social butterflies, dear readers!

We were on a mission to introduce the world to the new Engage. Plus, we hoped to help some genial geeks connect with the chic social mavens of their dreams. And vice-versa. (Turns out hotties dream about geeks as great relationship material. Our recent Romancing the Geek survey showed that 82% of women and 72% of men were into geeks — and would even choose silicon valley entrepreneurs over hollywood stars as potential mates!)

Whether you considered yourself a Geek, part of the Chic, or just aren’t into labels, there was something for everyone at this gathering. And Engage staffers were on the loose to Play Matchmaker™ with members of the crowd, bringing people together in the real world the way we do online. 

Here’s a clip of TechCrunch blogger Michael Arrington interviewing our very own VP of Love Trish McDermott and our CEO Suneet Wadhwa. Don’t they look glam in white?

You can also check out our flickr stream for photos from the event. See if you can spot the Engage staffers as they demo Engage and fix up people in the crowd.

As a member of Princess Cruise’s Romance Department, today I helped crown father of four and minister Phil Roberts, of Lexington, KY as the “Greatest Romantic” contest winner. The Romance Department at Princess, also including intimacy expert, Dr. Ruth Westheimer; ABC’s original “Bachelor,” Alex Michel; actor Gavin MacLeod (he played Captain Stubing on “The Love Boat) and destination wedding expert Lisa Light, nominated the five most romantic videos from the more than one hundred videos submitted in the contest.  More than eight thousand members of the public then selected Mr. Roberts in a final vote.  

 Check out his winning video.  It’s a story, in the form of a poem recited by his three-year-old daughter, about an everyday man who understands how to sweep a woman off her feet in a lovingly spectacular manner.  While he certainly knows how to pull off a perfect wedding proposal, I nominated Roberts because his romantic nature has stood the test of both time and tragedy in his ten-year relationship. That’s the kind of romance that makes me swoon.

Most of our love lives are not the makings of a major motion pictures, nor are they fodder for a romance novel.  They are ordinary, sometimes difficult, often surprising and occasionally hilarious moments pieced lovingly together by acts of generosity, compassion, insight, kindness and inspiration.  While larger-than-life romantic extravaganzas are the memorable love stories many of us will one day pass on to our children, everyday romance is the glue that keeps a couple together. 

What is everyday romance?  Whatever you and your partner need it to be.  Sometimes romance is a smile to break through a relationship’s momentary challenges that might otherwise get us all hung up.  It’s an unexpected gift when there is no occasion.  It’s a public pledge of love, made to a group of people, as in: “This is the woman I love.” It’s an extra few moments in bed, a longer-than-usual kiss goodbye or a slightly seductive note slipped into his briefcase.

Whether you are dating or happily taken, small acts of romance should be part of your everyday life.  Check out Susan Mernit’s blog, Finding Acts of Love that Really Matter.  Along with romantic poems you can read to your love and funny DVD’s the two of you can enjoy together, she shares romantic ideas that can help make all of us great romantics, not just on Valentine’s Day, but every day.  

Even romance experts have to remember to practice romance in their own love lives, so I’m off to buy a gift for no particular reason.

Warm, romantic fuzzies to everyone,

Trish McDermott, VP of Love at Engage

April 10th is our big night out! We’ll be at the Vanguard in Hollywood for “Geek Goes Chic,” a party we’re throwing with the technology bloggers at TechCrunch and the celebrity gossip mavens at PopSugar.

We’ll be showing off the brand new Engage service that we unveiled this week. Have you tried it?

Plus, Alex Michel, the first bachelor from ABC’s “The Bachelor,” and our very own VP of Love, Trish McDermott, will be on hand to help connect the Geeks to the Chic at the event.

Our recent “Romancing the Geek” survey shows that Geeks might inherit the Earth after all, at least in the romantic department. Our survey showed that 82% of people are open to dating a “Geek”, and 72% said they’d be happier in a marriage with a famous Silicon Valley geek than a Hollywood celebrity. Great news for you smart and technology-savvy types!

We’ll share pictures and more party news soon!

Hugs and kisses,

Engage

We’re getting attention for the new version of Engage that we unveiled yesterday.

Kristen Nicole on Mashable noticed:

“Engage is one of those sites seeking better recommendation tools for hooking you up in a genuine, non-contrived manner…”

Thanks Kristen! Read her complete article about our new site and our fun approach to social dating.

You can also check our press release about the launch.

Updated: Read what the Silicon Valley/San Jose BusinessJournal said about us today.

Another update: We also made the Silicon Valley Wire. Read it here.